An Unwanted Declaration
by bopofi
Summary: We all know Bella is obsessed with the Dark Lord, so what will happen when she admits she loves him? To his face no less. Well, Voldemort's just going to have to fix that. To what lengths will he go to get her off his back? Will he tell her THE SECRET?


Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all that goes with it is the sole property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I have no legal rights to any of it.

I know that my use of the word _asexual_ is incorrect, but it was the closest thing I could find. Please forgive me for any offense this story may cause. I am not anti-Semitic; Rabastan is. I am also sorry if Gehenna and Sheol are the same thing, they are very confusing.

This was it! Today was the day! The day Bellatrix was finally going to tell the Dark Lord she loved him. This was no small feat, let me assure you! She knew how the Dark Lord felt about "love". But that didn't matter. The worst he could do was torture her. And even that wouldn't be enough to dissuade her. Absolutely **nothing** could change her mind!

The meeting was over and everyone was Disapparating. It was now or never Bella reasoned. Putting on her bravest face, she cautiously approached her snake-like master.

"My Lord," she began, "There is something I wish to tell you." She paused, waiting to see if there would be a reply. There wasn't, so she continued, "I know how you feel on such a thing but…I must have you know that Iloveyou!"

Voldemort's nostrils (if you can even call them that) flared angrily and his eyes seemed to send a death glare at Bellatrix, who suddenly seemed to regain some of her sanity long enough to know that she was in BIG trouble! In a voice so low it was almost a whisper, Voldemort spoke, "You what!" There was enough venom in his voice to kill a dragon.

Hesitantly Bellatrix repeated the horrid words "I love you." Voldemort's eye was twitching dangerously. Oh no. This was not good. A woman of all things, had just said she loved him. Him! Lord Voldemort! It was unacceptable! He knew what the evil called "love" did to people. Especially to women.

He had seen both corrupt many a faithful Death Eater. There was a reason female Death Eaters were practically nonexistent. They ruined everything. It was that simple. They were a danger to well-all-thought-out plans. Heck, even the muggles knew it! They even had an entire book on the thing! Granted, it had a woman turn into a pillar of salt; but, it proved his point. Women ruined just about everything. Though, it was nice that he could blame them for death and not be considered a raving lunatic because of it.

Voldemort decided he must find the cause for Bellatrix's idiocy and do all that he could to destroy it! "Bella," he began in an eerily calm voice, "what could possibly make you say such a thing?" Bella only reiterated the awful words.

"No. I mean why. Why do you love me? Is it my power? My knowledge of torture?"

"Partly, but there's more to it than that. There's your age—"

"My age? Really? I am old enough to be your father. Doesn't that bother you?"

Bella shrugged, "I've always had something of a father complex."

Time to try another tactic. "I am physically hideous and am essentially a human snake."

"That just makes you so much more appealing! Besides, I have a weakness for ugly men."

"Then go love Wormtail. He's certainly repulsive!"

"Not like you are. You scare the living daylights out of a person just by having them look at you!"

"Go," Voldemort ordered. He would have to fix the ugliness part. Maybe then Bellatrix would change her mind.

**About a week later.**

There. He now looked the way he did at nineteen. It had taken a while, but it was worth it. Not that he was egotistical or anything, but he knew how attractive he was considered to be at that age. Bellatrix wouldn't dare love him like this.

He had explained his appearance (somewhat) to the Death Eaters. A few hadn't believed he was the Dark Lord; some well-placed Crucios fixed that. Severus was conveniently absent from the meeting. No doubt telling **Dumbledore **about the Age-Restoration potion; you couldn't trust Snape as far as you could throw him. Which is why he, Voldemort, had overseen the entire thing; not to mention, refused to say how many drops he would be taking (each drop took off a physical year).

Once the last of his minions were Crucioed, he dismissed them all save for his Inner Circle (more commonly referred to as 'henchmen'). They were to stand by in case he was in need of assistance. So saying, he ordered Bella to a side room and promptly shut the door. A few moments later, he reappeared looking quite flustered. He had just asked Bella if she still loved him. Her answer unfortunately was that 'Of course she still loved him and that his new look was only a minor setback, but that it would grow on her soon enough!' He tried explaining to her that, as he was asexual, it was literally impossible for him to even comprehend returning such a feeling. Upon hearing her desire to "fix that," he fled.

All this time, the Inner Circle were wondering what was going on in there and whether they should up their bets. The bets of course were on 'What will happen once Bellatrix professes her undying love to the Dark Lord.' So, when he came out muttering, they all strained their ears. Lucius, upon hearing things like 'YHWA…Gehenna…[and] Sheol,' murmured that he "Never knew the Dark Lord was Jewish."

"I don't think he is," Rabastan whispered back. At least he hoped the Dark Lord wasn't. That would be horrible! Imagine; their master, a filthy thieving Jew! Man, would that give him a fright! Mainly because, truth be told, he had great admiration for his and Rodolphus' paternal grandparents. Who, had sided with Adolf Hitler during the Second World War. Muggle vermin though he was.

Now while Rabastan was busy contemplating the idea of his master being Jewish, Lucius was wondering what he would do if he ever went bald. This just left Rodolphus for Voldemort to talk to. Normally he would Crucio them for not paying attention, but his problem was urgent.

"Rodolphus…what is wrong with your wife?"

"Could you be more specific, my Lord?"

Voldemort frowned. "Alright," he said, "How can I stop her from loving me?"

"Uuuuh…" Rodolphus was at a loss. He knew how obsessed Bellatrix was with the Dark Lord. He was all she talked about; even in Azkaban.

"Either answer me, or close your mouth!"

"You could tell her a devastating lie; like that you're…half-blood or something," Rodolphus said feebly. It would be better if the Dark Lord said he was mudblood, but that would never work since the man was clearly descended from Salazar Slytherin himself.

"That could work," though Voldemort. Back in the room where Bellatrix was, he cast a 'Silencio' around them; only they could hear each other. Not that Voldemort thought anyone would be listening, but better safe than sorry.

"Bellatrix, what I am about to tell you is perhaps my most carefully guarded secret. But first, do you swear to never reveal what I am about to say; in any way, shape, or form?"

"Yes," Bellatrix almost whispered; her eyes glowing with excitement.

"On your body…"

"Yes."

"…soul…"

"Of course."

"…and all your magic? For all eternity?"

"Absolutely. I shall keep your secret safe…forever."

Voldemort slowly smiled, "Then let's begin. I Lord Voldemort and," he hissed his foul muggle name in Parseltongue, "do hereby swear on my magic and my life, that the following sentence is completely and utterly true." He leaned towards Bellatrix and suddenly she found she could neither move nor breathe. Then the Dark Lord told her that which made her blood run cold. "I am…a half-blood." As soon as he uttered the last in that awful sentence, Bellatrix found she could both breathe and move fine again.

The next thing the Inner Circle saw was Bellatrix apparently running and then Disapparating as if her life depended on it. "Dismissed," said Voldemort. Rabastan stepped forward; he just had to be sure.

"Master, **are** you Jewish?"

"Crucio."


End file.
